We were expecting twins, and our lives turned upside down at the 19-week ultrasound appointment. The purpose of the appointment was to measure growth, but I realized it was taking an awfully long time for the technician to measure one of the twins, the one referred to as “baby A.” We had already chosen the name Allyson.

I had a wonderful doctor during my pregnancy, but I had only seen her once. On this particular day, she pushed her way through the door to our room with chart in hand, saying there is something wrong with baby A! She did not hold back and was very honest and straightforward. Although it is not news that anyone wants to hear, I really appreciated the doctor’s direct approach.

I was immediately scheduled for a level 2 scan the following week. I don’t think I ever prayed so hard in my life that whole week! When that scan was over, we heard the same description that we had heard before. We learned that her spine ended at around T10 or T11, and there was no sacrum!  We were told she would most likely use a wheelchair for life and might not even be able to sit up on her own. We learned she would have incontinence issues and possibly a tethered spinal cord and clubbed feet. Then it was as if no one was willing to say any more that day. In fact, we didn’t get any more details for the rest of the pregnancy!  We just heard, “Wait and see” over and over again. Not having information was so frightening!

We were given the option to attempt to abort her, but it could not be done in Minnesota! We would have had to fly to California to have it done because no doctors in Minnesota performed abortions that late in pregnancy. Our situation was even more complicated by the fact that our babies were identical twins. They shared a placenta, so if we had chosen abortion, there would have been a high chance that baby B would not make it either!  I wanted to abort. However, her dad did not! It was a very difficult time for us.

We met with genetic counselors and social workers that same week. They went over all of our options. One of the women, a genetics counselor who I call an angel for both my daughter Allyson and for me, pulled me aside. She said to me, “Handicapped children only grow up believing they are handicapped if their parents raise them to believe that they are.” In that moment, what she said changed my entire perspective and life!

Our daughter will be 4 years old in November, and she has done everything that the doctors said she might not or would not do! I will be forever grateful for the genetic counselor and her powerful statement to me that day. I look at Allyson every day and can’t even imagine our lives without her! I am not a patient person. That is the reason why I didn’t want to even attempt having a child with special needs. I didn’t think I could do it, but God has placed her in my life for a reason. She has touched my life and the lives of so many others in a positive way. She has taught me that I myself am capable of things that I never even knew I could do. Although she does have to do things differently and in some areas she has to work harder than other kids, her determination and positive attitude just fills my heart with more love and joy than I ever knew existed! She is here for a reason, and her life is already so rich. I cannot wait to see her grow up!